Maybe, He can be my King and I can be his Queen
Even though I cut men out of my life, I appreciate the men still in it.
I have many guy friends.
And since I went to a great high school and go to an even better university I am constantly surrounded by strong, beautiful, brilliant Black men. Black men doing something with their lives. Black men who are definitely going somewhere.
So I can't help it. I can't help the fact that I admire, maybe even secretly like some of my guy friends. I don't really like them but if one of them asked me to be his girlfriend I would jump on the bandwagon, quickly. lol. Except for the fact that they are my friends and sometimes you just can't jeopardize friendship. So in the meantime I just say "watch, I'm gonna marry him one day." LMAO.
People always say guys and girls can't be friends because guys always have deeper intentions. But did anyone ever stop to think that maybe it's the girl? Sometimes the girl wants to be more than friends (I'm just saying).
So the point of all this is...
I have a friend
I have liked him for almost three years now. It's an on again off again like. I like him when it's convenient for me. You know. Times when I'm not talking to anyone else, not busy cussing out the Ex, or when I'm not totally consumed with life in school. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I forget he even exists, I forget I even like him...
But something always reminds me...
Got dam Facebook! That's what!
He must really be going through something in his life with some skeezer because his statuses always seem down and out. Him asking God to be there, to bring someone into his life, to heal the pain, etc. (see what I mean? he talks to God!) And when I read stuff like that it reminds me that my like for him is REAL because he is REAL. He is not afraid to express how he feels, he is honest, he is sweet. And it hurts me to see him feeling low and thats how I know.
It bothers me because I know I wouldn't mistreat him. I wouldn't make him feel bad, ever. I would care for him, be there for him, and be everything he needed in a woman. The one thing I know for sure that we both have in common is that we both love hard. And to love hard, truly, deeply, unconditionally is a beautiful thing.
He knows I like him. I have always been like that. I will let the person know, just in case. I just don't do "shoulda," "coulda," "wouldas." So he knows. And I hope he keeps me in the back of my mind like I keep him in the back of my heart.
Because there could always be a someday. And if not, life goes on.
But still, I'm in like.