Sunday, June 28, 2009

To Be Serviced...Where Is My Mechanic??

Introducing: The Sex Machine... Maybe I should use this to service my parts

I have this urgent urge to be serviced.

My female parts need a fixin' n some fine tunin'.
I'm starting to hear creakin' n squeakin' down there.

It's been a WHILE...[like dot dot dot dot dot(still going) dot dot dot]
And I just want somebody to do my body right. And since the only person I've ever been with is the EX I guess that won't be happening.

And I DON'T/REFUSE TO have a ONE Night Stand! [YUCK]

And to think... I was gonna allow the EX to do that for me.
Shakin my muthafriggin head.

Well I was uneasy about it anyways. I wanted EVERYTHING done to me. I wanted to feel that kind of sexual bliss you see in movies or pornos. Then I realized that was just a fantasy because I am no porno movie star nor am I even as sexually experienced as I want to be. So how could I expect someone to put it on me if I can't return the favor?

He says I'm the best he's ever had...

I have to disagree. We did IT like no more times than the number of fingers I have on my hand.
So I know I'm not like the others... You know the girls who can:

Throw it back like a quarterback
Lick, lick, lick him like a lollipop
Ride him like a midwest cowgirl

That is SO not me. I'm not wack but dammit, I'm not that ^.
But my sis says maybe I shouldn't have any fear. Maybe I am the best he's ever had. Some girls are just naturally good at IT. Hmmmm interesting thought.

Her suggestion: Listen, just google some tricks and put it on his ass. LMAO
Is sex supposed to be this complicated?

Anyways, none of this really matters because I'm not gonna get my parts serviced for a long long time. I made the EX wait years and the next will have to do the same. It's against my religion. I really wanted to wait until marriage... Obviously that didn't happen.


And if you haven't proved to be worshiping it then you don't get none(of the nookie, I mean).

--From the mind of Nikki C.


  1. u sound just like me. except i don't have the guts to admit that out loud cuz im a huge pussy =P. and I googled tricks once...I'm still trying to figure out what I saw

  2. lmaoo... i can pretty much understand what i saw but its the actual thought of doing them that gets me lol

  3. hahaha!! I need one of those in my house! I Used to have those feelings of calling the ex, I waited it out. Now I got a homie lover friend. lmao