Saturday, June 27, 2009

To Be Hurt

I'm not gonna jump into this blog by creating the traditional "welcome to my blog."

Life is SO real... so I just want to jump into how I feel...

He hurt me... AGAIN. He can be really really evil sometimes. The words that he says can be worst than someone putting their hands on you. He is not even my man. He is an ex and has been for a long long time. Funny thing is, he is the one who always tries to maintain contact with ME. Listen, if you're gonna be an asshole then stay the F**K out of my life. That's how I feel.

Does anyone reading this know how it feels to be hurt repeatedly? I can't even describe it. It just makes me want to cry. This is the same person who I told myself I would never EVER cry over again. Yet a simple conversation on AIM where he gets upset for no reason and then I get upset cuz he is upset makes me cry. And I know I wasn't crying because of him or because of the fact that he was/still is upset with me. I cried because I'm tired of having the same conversation. The conversation where he threatens to stop talking to me forever, because I'm "evil" (yea right). I really wish sometimes he will go, walk away, and stop talking to me forever. But he won't.

Today, I deleted his AIM.

Today he wants to stop talking to me for good.

Tomorrow he will be calling me again.

I won't pick up.

But I'm telling you he will blow up my AIM/phone like it's no tomorrow. It's very annoying. It is a never-ending emotional roller coaster. UGHH

Oh yea...and those tears I mentioned earlier were not of any significance. They weren't those boo-hoo, balling, falling on the floor, tear your insides apart, the storm in my life will never end tears... They were tears of frustration. Two little droplets down my face. Because you know what...he doesn't deserve my tears. He took them all out of me during our too long relationship. You will not ever hear me say: "I want that old thing back." PUH-LEASE!

Granted, it was a SMALL misunderstanding. But I don't need people in my life who are going to run out of it whenever everything isn't all peachy. He needs to MAN-UP. Cuz that mess ain't fair to me.

But you know what? They say people only do to you what you allow them to do.

Maybe I need to kick his short ass out my life. His time in my book is running out. I think I need to close that chapter. I'm gonna definitely pray on it.

--From the life of Nikki C.


  1. wow. Nobody deserves to be hurt repeatly so its good that your trying to make a effort to leaving him alone . Maby its time to move on to being happy Because life is too short .

    well thanks for following my blog :) I followed yours too . Im happy to be a follower of yours.

    Hope everything works out hunn

  2. awww thanx! it will all work out cuz homie is a busta which is y he is an EX... but ur blog is fly, i like ur style.. Thanks for following babes!

    Nikki C.

  3. Some people are better left behind and he may be one of them. I think should just cut all ties with him especially he is doing nothing but hurting and bring you down. You will feel much better and happier when he is a thing of the past!!!!

  4. i think imma take that advice... thanx!!

  5. He sounds awful. Block his aim and his number from your phone. There are people that add to your life, subtract from it, multiply it or divde it. He is definitely a divider cuz he's adding to your hurt and multipying your pain and frustration. So you should subtract him from your life. Any man who would do this doesn't deserve the pleasure of knowing you.

  6. AMEN GIRL!!! And that, I have done!

  7. -_- case of the ex. good job with deleting the aim because sometimes if it's not in ur sight then it can't bother you. but remember those times when u cant help but remember the good times. and then battle that memory with why u deleted him in the first place.