Fuck You, Pay Me!

Oh the wonderful world of employment...

The supervisors at my job, I am convinced, have absolutely no idea what in the world they are doing.

Rule #1 for dealing with Black people:

Don't mess with our damn money!

Obviously, Thing 1 and Thing 2 didn't get the memo. How do you mess up someone's paycheck? Twice?!

Lord, Jesus, give me the strength!

They basically did not pay me for a whole week of pay because of some damn mistake- someone can't count right. How the heck did you make it through four years of college and grad school and not learn how to count? I have bills to pay, life is real, I cannot afford for you to mess up my paycheck. It was the first of the month too...SMH.

Ok, ok. But people make mistakes. So I kind of forgave them seeing how they corrected the issue and the missing money should be showing up on my next check.

But then! Thing 2 messed up again [Can Thing 1, who is more experienced, please not go on vacation anymore and if he does, can he please teach Thing 2 how to do his job CORRECTLY?] He scheduled me for too many hours last week... This is not slave labor, you did not pay me, I will not be working no damn overtime for you. And then, this week he scheduled me for not enough hours. When I brought this issue to his attention and demanded he give me back my damn shifts so I can work the 40 hours a week I was promised, he replies:

"Sorry for the mistake, unfortunately, we already filled the schedule."

A ha ha ha ha ha. That is the funniest sugar honey ice tea I have ever heard. What do they think this is?

FUCK YOU, PAY ME!

Let's just say I had to get ignorant and you better believe I am working my 40 hours. I think he learned his lesson. Never ever play with Nikki C's money. And if they mess up my next check, you better believe I'm going in that office and I am going to accuse them of thinking they run a slave-operated business. My friend who they did not pay at all (yah see what kind of mess they on?)since summer began did the same thing. She said it scared them s**tless. LMAO.

I really really do hope all goes well. SMH. All I got to do is make it through summer.

To Be In Like??

Maybe, He can be my King and I can be his Queen

Even though I cut men out of my life, I appreciate the men still in it.

I have many guy friends.

And since I went to a great high school and go to an even better university I am constantly surrounded by strong, beautiful, brilliant Black men. Black men doing something with their lives. Black men who are definitely going somewhere.

So I can't help it. I can't help the fact that I admire, maybe even secretly like some of my guy friends. I don't really like them but if one of them asked me to be his girlfriend I would jump on the bandwagon, quickly. lol. Except for the fact that they are my friends and sometimes you just can't jeopardize friendship. So in the meantime I just say "watch, I'm gonna marry him one day." LMAO.

People always say guys and girls can't be friends because guys always have deeper intentions. But did anyone ever stop to think that maybe it's the girl? Sometimes the girl wants to be more than friends (I'm just saying).

So the point of all this is...

I have a friend

I have liked him for almost three years now. It's an on again off again like. I like him when it's convenient for me. You know. Times when I'm not talking to anyone else, not busy cussing out the Ex, or when I'm not totally consumed with life in school. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I forget he even exists, I forget I even like him...

But something always reminds me...

Got dam Facebook! That's what!

He must really be going through something in his life with some skeezer because his statuses always seem down and out. Him asking God to be there, to bring someone into his life, to heal the pain, etc. (see what I mean? he talks to God!) And when I read stuff like that it reminds me that my like for him is REAL because he is REAL. He is not afraid to express how he feels, he is honest, he is sweet. And it hurts me to see him feeling low and thats how I know.

It bothers me because I know I wouldn't mistreat him. I wouldn't make him feel bad, ever. I would care for him, be there for him, and be everything he needed in a woman. The one thing I know for sure that we both have in common is that we both love hard. And to love hard, truly, deeply, unconditionally is a beautiful thing.

He knows I like him. I have always been like that. I will let the person know, just in case. I just don't do "shoulda," "coulda," "wouldas." So he knows. And I hope he keeps me in the back of my mind like I keep him in the back of my heart.

Because there could always be a someday. And if not, life goes on.

But still, I'm in like.

To Be Cut Out

THE SCISSORS OF LIFE

(DA DA DA DUH)

It is very unfortunate, but in recent weeks and days I have had to cut some people out of my life.

Negroes have been acting up. And I don't have the time, strength, or energy to deal with it.

Case #1: The Ex

Yep yep... He has been BLOWING UP my damn phone.

The Voicemail Message: "You need to stop actin' like a big baby[idiot]...You are very ungrateful. You think I'm evil but you don't realize how you treat me. I bet you treat people at school who you just met better than you treat me [hell yea, they actually treat me like I'm a human being]. I need to know if you wanna come home this weekend [he still thinks I want him to service my parts, dumass]. I'll pay for your ticket [uhh, do you want a pat on the back?] Do you want to come to the BBQ? [NO mofo, I don't like your ass or your crazy ass family]. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

His AIM has been blocked, his number deleted and his calls are being IGNORED!

MOVING ON...

Case # 2: The Sportsman

He has NOT been blowing up my phone.

Where the hell is he? This man has to be the sexiest human being on the planet to me. He is just my type... Tall, football player build, nice smile, college educated, etc. Only thing is, homeboy can not hold a conversation.

UNLESS ITS ABOUT SEX. That's just plain ol' ridiculous. Mmm mm no. You've gots to go.

I'm so attracted to him, things could get outta control [as they almost did-but thats another story for another day]. WHEW.

I decided he is not what I'm looking for and I don't need to be talking to him AT ALL.

His phone number has been deleted.

Case # 3: The Silly Man

He used to BLOW UP my iPhone inbox... But only when his shorty [some skeezer, no lie yah] wasn't around.

He is easy to explain. We were on again and off again for months. Homeboy thought I was somebody he could pull out his back pocket when homegirl wasn't around. Hol' up, wait a got dam minute! I am not SECOND to anyone. We can put the breaks on that one. Nor am I a homewrecker. I knew he was in love with her-shit he broadcasted it all over his Facebook page. Need I say more?

His number has been deleted, his Facebook page has been removed.

Case #4: The Sweetie

He acts like he is allergic to his phone.

This man is so sweet. He constantly puts a smile on my face. He is in college and has goals that I know he will reach. He is so handsome and he is a good dresser [he got that NY Swag that I love]. Too bad he is too busy or whatever. IDK, he just doesn't have his priorities in order [meaning me-I deserve to be up there on that list :)]. And every time he would come back around it would be with the same ol'... I missed you sweetie, how you doing princess?, sorry I've been busy. And I believe he was being sincere. But I don't think he is ready for a relationship and I like him too much to just remain friends. Plus we only saw each other ONCE because every time we supposed to meet up he flakes out. HELL NO! So unfortunately [his loss] he had to go.

His number has been deleted, his AIM SN has been blocked.

Nonetheless, I still have faith in my Black men. I don't believe that they are ALL "ain't shit niggas." Nah not all of them. Just the one's I have been running into. LMAO, no need to be upset. I'm not even 21 yet, things will look up.

So I went to having three boos (the Ex doesn't count) to having NONE.

How do I feel?

Just fine. Refreshed. Like I'm starting a new chapter. All smiles.

To Be Serviced...Where Is My Mechanic??

Introducing: The Sex Machine... Maybe I should use this to service my parts

I have this urgent urge to be serviced.

My female parts need a fixin' n some fine tunin'.

I'm starting to hear creakin' n squeakin' down there.

It's been a WHILE...[like dot dot dot dot dot(still going) dot dot dot]

And I just want somebody to do my body right. And since the only person I've ever been with is the EX I guess that won't be happening.

And I DON'T/REFUSE TO have a ONE Night Stand! [YUCK]

And to think... I was gonna allow the EX to do that for me.

Shakin my muthafriggin head.

Well I was uneasy about it anyways. I wanted EVERYTHING done to me. I wanted to feel that kind of sexual bliss you see in movies or pornos. Then I realized that was just a fantasy because I am no porno movie star nor am I even as sexually experienced as I want to be. So how could I expect someone to put it on me if I can't return the favor?

He says I'm the best he's ever had...

I have to disagree. We did IT like no more times than the number of fingers I have on my hand.

So I know I'm not like the others... You know the girls who can:

Throw it back like a quarterback

Lick, lick, lick him like a lollipop

Ride him like a midwest cowgirl

That is SO not me. I'm not wack but dammit, I'm not that ^.

But my sis says maybe I shouldn't have any fear. Maybe I am the best he's ever had. Some girls are just naturally good at IT. Hmmmm interesting thought.

Her suggestion: Listen, just google some tricks and put it on his ass. LMAO

Is sex supposed to be this complicated?

Anyways, none of this really matters because I'm not gonna get my parts serviced for a long long time. I made the EX wait years and the next will have to do the same. It's against my religion. I really wanted to wait until marriage... Obviously that didn't happen.

MY BODY IS MY TEMPLE

And if you haven't proved to be worshiping it then you don't get none(of the nookie, I mean).

--From the mind of Nikki C.

To Be Hurt

I'm not gonna jump into this blog by creating the traditional "welcome to my blog."

Life is SO real... so I just want to jump into how I feel...

He hurt me... AGAIN. He can be really really evil sometimes. The words that he says can be worst than someone putting their hands on you. He is not even my man. He is an ex and has been for a long long time. Funny thing is, he is the one who always tries to maintain contact with ME. Listen, if you're gonna be an asshole then stay the F**K out of my life. That's how I feel.

Does anyone reading this know how it feels to be hurt repeatedly? I can't even describe it. It just makes me want to cry. This is the same person who I told myself I would never EVER cry over again. Yet a simple conversation on AIM where he gets upset for no reason and then I get upset cuz he is upset makes me cry. And I know I wasn't crying because of him or because of the fact that he was/still is upset with me. I cried because I'm tired of having the same conversation. The conversation where he threatens to stop talking to me forever, because I'm "evil" (yea right). I really wish sometimes he will go, walk away, and stop talking to me forever. But he won't.

Today, I deleted his AIM.

Today he wants to stop talking to me for good.

Tomorrow he will be calling me again.

I won't pick up.

But I'm telling you he will blow up my AIM/phone like it's no tomorrow. It's very annoying. It is a never-ending emotional roller coaster. UGHH

Oh yea...and those tears I mentioned earlier were not of any significance. They weren't those boo-hoo, balling, falling on the floor, tear your insides apart, the storm in my life will never end tears... They were tears of frustration. Two little droplets down my face. Because you know what...he doesn't deserve my tears. He took them all out of me during our too long relationship. You will not ever hear me say: "I want that old thing back." PUH-LEASE!

Granted, it was a SMALL misunderstanding. But I don't need people in my life who are going to run out of it whenever everything isn't all peachy. He needs to MAN-UP. Cuz that mess ain't fair to me.

But you know what? They say people only do to you what you allow them to do.

Maybe I need to kick his short ass out my life. His time in my book is running out. I think I need to close that chapter. I'm gonna definitely pray on it.

--From the life of Nikki C.